October 15th - As God Would Have It

Yesterday, October 15th was National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

I woke up early and wrote the story of my angels to post on my blog. I also found a couple of websites that related to the day. I added my picture to the website Iamtheface.org http://www.iamtheface.org/?page_id=2586 (my picture is on the last line second picture). I added my angels name to the gone to soon list http://www.iamtheface.org/?page_id=2901 (my angels names are on the 9th row from the bottom). I also found the site http://www.facesofloss.com/ it has a lot of resources if you search around.

As God Would Have It
I don't believe in coincidences. So, I feel that God purposed my husband to check the mail today and in the mail were the pictures that Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep came and took of Lauren the day she died. I thought how perfect was it to receive her pictures on October 15th, the day I would be lighting a candle to remember her and her brothers. At 7pm, I lit candles for my four angels. (I moved the candles after the first picture)..

Earlier today, I took pictures of my son putting the stepping stone he decorated into the garden. My son made a stone for his sister and it is so cute (definitely made by a 3 year old). Here is a picture of the memory garden so far..

Still needs work, but in the picture you can see the bush in the middle that came from Central Church. And in the far right corner is the rosebush from my friend Christine.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

The pictures we received from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep were so beautiful. NILMDTS is a non-profit organization that takes pictures after the loss of babies. It seems morbid, but to the parent of a child in heaven it is irreplaceable. Here are a few of the pictures of my Lauren Victoria. And in true Von fashion, I will create a video with all of the images soon....

Me and My baby Girl 

Her daddy holding her 

Touching her daddy's hand 

Holding Mommy's hand 

Lauren and her papa (my dad) 

Lauren and her Nana (my mom) 

Lauren and her daddy with his ring on her tiny hand. 

I love her so much, I miss her so much, I just wish I could wake up from what feels like a terrible dream...

Daring to Dream Again, 

Von

"I Think God Can Fix It"

This morning I woke up and my son told me that his stepping stone was broken.  (We created stepping stones for all of our children to go in the memory garden in our backyard. My mom and I decorated for my angel babies and my son was responsible for painting and decorating his stone).

So here is the conversation.  "Mommy, my stone is broken."  I said, "well, that's okay buddy, we can throw it away and get you a new one."  He looks at me with these giant eyes and says, "I think God can fix it."

My heart smiled.  If my three year old can believe that God can fix his broken stone, I can believe that God can fix my broken heart.

Pictures of the memory garden Coming Soon..

Daring to Dream Again,
Von