The Story of My Angel Babies (Remembering Lauren, Peter, Peyton and Baby C)

Angel Baby Peyton Micah Charles - July 13, 2004

In 2003, after a few years of marriage, my husband I decided it was time to have a baby.  We were so naive to believe we were just going to make a baby.  If only it was that easy to just make a decision to have a baby and 40 weeks later a healthy little baby showed up.  What happened to the stork dropping off the baby at the front door?  If you guys find the number to the stork, please email it to me :-)

After a year of negative pregnancy test results, I decided to become knowledgeable about the process of baby making.  I purchased a computer program called "ovusoft" and began taking my temperature with a basal thermometer.  Within 45 days the computer program told me that I was pregnant and to go buy a pregnancy test.  I took a test and this computer program was right, we were pregnant!!

I was so excited and my due date was December 25, 2004 (what a Christmas gift).  A few months later, I was getting ready for church on Sunday July 11, 2004.  That morning I woke up and realized that I was 16 weeks pregnant and the "first trimester miscarriage stage" was behind me.  I felt myself breathe a giant sigh of relief, because friends and family would constantly remind me that I wasn't safe until I got past 3 months.  My husband and I went to church and then to Perkins for breakfast/lunch.  I got home and felt really weird.  I went into the restroom and my water broke.  I actually thought the baby had come out.  I screamed for my husband and told him the baby fell out.  He looked in the water and said the baby wasn't in there. We rushed to the hospital and found out that my water had indeed broke, but the baby was safe and sound.  I was told there was a 5% chance that my amniotic sac could reseal.  I was put in the hospital and stayed there until Tuesday, July 13, 2004.  I thought I was having "gas pains" but turns out I was having contractions.  I asked the nurse if I could get up and go to the restroom and she said that I could.  I felt something weird again and reached down and could feel the baby's leg.  The nurse rushed me back to the bed and I delivered Peyton Micah Charles.  He was was so tiny, yet perfectly formed.  He was born without a heartbeat and into the arms of God.  I was rushed to surgery, because I lost too much blood.  I remember them wrapping Peyton in a blanket and putting him under my bed as they rolled me to surgery.

We were told that what happened with Peyton was a "fluke" it would never happen again.  They called it Premature Rupture of the Membranes (PPROM).

I didn't get any pictures of Peyton, but I had this box with his little hand and feet prints, but in a really weird strange string of events, the box is gone.  All I have of Peyton is the memory.

Angel Baby Peter Noah - December 10, 2005

I grew up an only child and always wanted my parents to have more children or adopt more children.  They never did, but I have always dreamed of adopting children and having biological children.  My husband and I decided to start the adoption process.  In early 2005, we found out that we were chosen to be the forever family for a little baby boy.  We were so excited!  We had recently moved to our current home and painted one room pink and one room blue in anticipation of filling those rooms with little blessings from God.  This baby was going to be a preemie and could come any day.  We rushed to the store and got all the baby essentials and our loved ones showed up with bags and bags of clothes.  So we were ready!

In September, I was picking up my mom to bring her to my house for our neighborhood's garage sale.  On the way to my home we were involved in a 4 car accident.  There was an accident a few cars up and everyone came to a stop.  Four cars back a car didn't stop and my mom and I could hear the impact of that car hitting another car, then we heard another impact and then "BAM" we were hit.

I was taken to the hospital and surprisingly found out that we were expecting a baby due May 28, 2006.  I looked at the ER doctor and said how are we expecting a baby, we are adopting a baby any day now.  Well, we decided that we were just going to have our version of twins.  A few weeks later we found out that the adopted baby's family was going to keep him.  It was sad, but we thought that maybe this was God's way of saying twins would be too much for us.

So, then another baby boy became available and he was due on December 14, 2005.  So, my husband and I decided we would try our version of twins again.

I was about 14 weeks pregnant and found out that my cervix was opening and I was rushed to the hospital for an emergency cerclage.  At 15 weeks and 6 days gestation on December 10, 2005, my water broke and my husband rushed me to the hospital.  After a few hours, Peter Noah was born without a heartbeat into the arms of God.  He was also very tiny, but perfect.  The hospital took pictures of Peter and I have a memory box of Peter (I will post pictures soon..)

We found out a few days later that while I was in the hospital delivering Peter, the birth mother of the adopted son we were expecting was in another hospital delivering him and her family decided to adopt the baby.


In 2006, we were chosen 2 or 3 more times to become the adopted family, but something would always happen.  Finally, in December 2006, God blessed us to become the forever family to our son.  He was the Christmas present of 2006.  God is so good.

Angel Baby Girl Lauren Victoria - September 23 - 27, 2010
(this is the short version of Lauren's story - I will write the longer version on her memory page)


In 2006, I found a new OB GYN, she is awesome!  She sent me for test and they discovered a few things that were wrong and decided that when I got pregnant again, I would get a preventative cerclage early in the pregnancy, I would be put on bedrest from the day I found out I was pregnant and I would have to give myself a blood thinning shot every day in my stomach.  For this reason, we had not completely given up on having natural children, but it was not at the top of our things to do list.

I  went to the doctor for my annual appointment on May 12, 2010.  I was met with the surprise and very unexpected news that I was pregnant.  I began the daily shots immediately and was scheduled for the surgery on July 19th.  On August 16th, we found out our baby was a GIRL, finally a little girl to fill our pink room.  We also found out that day that my cervix was opening and I had funneled to the stitch (the cerclage).  I was put on bedrest at home until the next appointment.  Monday, August 23rd, I was sent to the hospital for bedrest where Lauren and I lived for 31 days.  We were trying to make it to 24 weeks because that is what is considered viable for babies.

Everything was going great until Wednesday morning, September 22nd, when my water broke.   Lauren was only 23 weeks 4 days gestation and the NICU doctors refused to help her live if she was born.  My doctors had to fight to get the NICU to help her and at 1:26 am on Thursday morning, September 23, 2010 Lauren Victoria was born weighing 1 pound and 10.5 inches.  She was the most beautiful baby girl in the world.  She went to the NICU and before 24 hours she was taken off of the ventilator because her lungs were doing so well.  She was a feisty baby, pulling out her feeding tube and oxygen over and over.  She had this super tiny cry and a head full of hair.  So cute.  On September 27th, Lauren Victoria went to be with the Lord and her brothers.  Her electrolytes got off and affected her heart.  She fought so hard and I am so proud of her.

Visit her memory page to see videos and pictures of her - http://dreamsrecovered.blogspot.com/p/rembering-lauren-victoria.html

Angel Baby C - Summer 1995
The story of baby C is hard to tell.  It is a story filled with the guilt,shame and regrets of a teenager and the cost of low self esteem.  It is a hard story to tell about a 17 year old that was striving to be perfect, making straight A's and looking for love in all the wrong places.  A 17 year old that was "engaged" to a guy that didn't really care about her and found out she was pregnant, as was told that she had no choices.  A really sad story of abuse and pain.  It is hard to write about Baby C, but Baby C was my baby.  I desperately wanted this baby and I love this baby so much.